The Power of One

Yesterday I sat down to listen to a sermon and the intro was a little skit about how lame Christian singles are. The great irony is that the message was that the church should not be exclusive, it should be the most inclusive place in all of culture...

I guess they didn't see what they were doing. Singles are the last minority in the church that it is okay to ridicule. No one actually says it, but I get this pervading sense of, "If you were as good a Christian as I am, you'd be married. You're just not ready yet." Or, "There must be something really wrong with you. After all, God told us to go forth and multiply."

Well, while there may in fact be something really wrong with me, I don't think that's keeping a ring from my church-going finger. After all, some incredible people in history--and even in the history of Christianity--were single. Here are just a few.


C.S. Lewis - He did marry in his late fifties, but wrote almost all his great works as a single man.

Susan B. Anthony - We seriously owe this chick for her part in winning women's rights.

Sir Isaac Newton - Discovered three laws of physics that are the basis for classical mechanics. You're welcome, everyone-who-uses-anything-mechanical-ever.

Queen Elizabeth - Everyone's fave royal until this new batch cropped up.

Jane Austen - Mr. Darcy. Need I say more?

Bonhoeffer - Theologian and part of a plot to take out Hitler. Pretty intense dude whose impact is still felt in the church today.

Coco Chanel - An orphan, actually, who started the world's most pervasive fashion company. Rock on.

Mother Teresa - I have a feeling she's going to have a really good seat at the table when we get to Heaven. But as humble as she was she'll probably keep getting up to fill water glasses for other people.

Every Pope.

Oprah - One of the most influential women in America.

St. Paul - He didn't even seem a big fan of the institution. Too busy gallivanting around starting churches

Dr. Condoleezza Rice - the first female African American secretary of state, now a professor at Stanford.

And, of course....

Jesus! - Yes, the one we worship as the son of God was unmarried!

So, today I'm thankful for all those wicked-cool single people who changed the world. It would be a less glorious place without them.

When did Summer decide to show up?

On day three of the year's first heatwave, I'm grateful for A/C, white wine, and blueberries.

A Year's Worth of Thanks

It is my birthday! I'm *CENSORED* years old today, and Google had a little party-looking design on my screen this morning, and Starbucks gave me a free coffee. But more even than free coffee, I have enjoyed the thoughtful birthday wishes on facebook, texts, phone calls, gifts, vegan cake, and donations to IJM on my behalf.

So thank you for the wishes and thoughts!

Other things that happened this year that I'm thankful for:

getting to know Jesus better

Maui and the Whales!
so many good books
Cambodia (and the cool new friends I made)
Guatemala (and the cool new friends I made)
getting to be a part of what God is doing in Cambodia and Guatemala
The Hunger Games movie
vegan cheese dip
a new apartment
another manuscript completed
my pappasan chair
Starbucks mugs
four new red lipsticks
Deep Thinkers Writing Retreat (and the cool new friends I made)
Christmas
Dante the Charcoal Impala
TWO half marathons, only one of which I walked.
The Sixth Annual Buckner Turkey Trot Racing Team
a Twitter account
seeing the scripts I wrote performed by digital animals
John Mayer's new album
Lime-a-Ritas
Lief the Apple

And so much more. It was a good year, that's for sure and I have high hopes for the next. Here's looking at you, *CENSORED*!

Holy Fork

I used to like the little salad forks with short prongs. Now I'm more a fan of the full size dinner forks. There is a chance this is due to the amount of pizza I consume and that the longer tines don't smash the crust or displace the toppings.  It could be that my mouth is bigger. I prefer to associate it with maturity--how, I'm not sure, but I prefer this explanation nonetheless.

I was reading a book yesterday where it said, roughly, that surrendering to God means accepting that your sole purpose is to be used by him in lives around you. It sounds spiritual. And it makes me shudder.

If this is true, I'm essentially a sanctified fork. It's really hard to feel fulfilled by that. And I don't think that's what God wants. That's certainly not what Jesus preached. He was a lot more about being. Being a branch, being a son/daughter, being in Him and Him in us.

There is no human relationship we would applaud where the sole purpose of one party was to be used by the other. And we're piddly old humans. Not even half as wonderful as the Divine. So if we expect more of each other than a list of to-dos, why would we expect less of the God who so loved us that He gave His son? One doesn't make a move like that to beef up his silverware drawer, but for relationship and for all-consuming passionate love. He did it so he could know us and we could know him.

I think fully surrendering means giving God who we are. Not to be used, to be enjoyed, reveled in. And to talk and spend time and bask in him too. The doing will happen, sure, but its more a "doing with" than "being used by."  Jesus spent a lot of time kicking it in the hills with no one but his father. And yes, he did a gazillion miracles with God, but they were in it together, and some days he didn't do any at all. I bet he didn't feel bad those days, I bet he just relished his Father and let his Father relish Him.

So, while saying I'm not going to claim I've mastered this "fully surrendered" thing, I'm excited to get there. Not to reach the silverware drawer, but to sit around with a cup of joe and spend time with the God who wants me. Just me. And to do works not to be used by Him, but to experience life and the joy his service brings alongside Him.

Thank you, Lord, that you are a God of relationship. You're not a taskmaster. I repent of the days when I try so hard to earn the affection you lavish on me just because. Let me experience more of you, more with you. Please don't let me miss out on this relationship because I'm doing things, or ever. All your love. And all mine.

The Texts that Saved The Day

I don't know if you've read that book Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day or not, but I hope so. It's a children's lit classic. And it was roughly what my day looked like yesterday.

I won't go into the why though much of it had to do with work, and at more than one point throughout, my day slid past terrible and into horrible range. Part of me wanted to give up and pout and was even a little jealous of kids young enough to pull of a tantrum without facing institutionalization. 

Disclaimer: While I do have to
carry a blackberry for work, I by
no means support their use. This
was the only texting picture I
could find that was free. So there
you go.

But, alas, I'm not that young anymore, and the Holy Spirit always elbows me in the conscience when I'm about to write off anything He's given me, including days. But I couldn't fix the things that were wrong, they were and are outside my control.  It was looking to be a hard, bleak Thursday.

BUT. 

Yesterday morning I got a text that my sister was praying for me. And then a few hours later texted with another friend who was praying for me. And then in the afternoon yet another friend texted out of the blue that she was praying for me!

Just knowing people are praying is amazing. I used to think it was more benevolent to pray without telling people so they wouldn't think (or maybe God wouldn't think...I don't remember exactly) that I was only doing it so I could sound virtuous.  But now I tell people. Because it is a huge comfort to know that someone else has chosen to spend time talking to God about you, that they care and he cares and you're in good hands.  And it's cool to know that God, knowing when you're trying your best but you've had it up to here and need some help praying through a thing, taps some of his other sons and daughters on the shoulder and asks them to help you out.

While my day didn't exactly get better until about 6:30 when I had a glass of wine and took part in a writing video chat, I kept thinking, what would have happened if people hadn't been praying? I may well be in a straight jacket right now.

Thank you, Lord, that it's a new day--and not just any new day, a Friday!--and that you are with me even in the bad ones. Thank you that prayer matters and for my wonderful friends who lifted me up. All my love.

Humbled

On this cold day in Dallas, where I will do much sitting in a conference room before driving home, I'm tempted to resent the day, to feel I must forebear with whatever grace I can muster.

And in the middle of these thoughts, God reminded me that this is the day that He has made. I should rejoice and be glad in it.  Which will require me getting humble and being grateful for the day I get to live at all, for the job I have that brought me here, that I remembered to bring a jacket, that tonight I get to sleep in my own bed, that I can go to Starbucks before we start today, that the Almighty cares enough about me to call me to gratitude, and that Jesus died to save me.

The Voice

I love plots. Love them. So I'm not a huge reality TV fan. If there is a plot it feels contrived.

But, yesterday I turned on the TV and The Voice was on. I do like the idea of this show, and hearing the judges banter is fun. I was muting it during commercials/background stories/coming-up-next-promos to work on my own plot, and unmuting when the contestant finally stepped on stage. Mostly it was interesting.

But a few times, well, it was that moment when your fingers stop moving, you stop speaking, thinking, blinking, and just listen as the sound builds shivers over your skin and down your spine and every now and then pricks the backs of your eyes.

I love that. That transient moment, unretainable and uniting, when something transcendent reaches past the barriers and noise and life and draws all those present into something deeper, true.

Me, I can carry a tune okay, and sound really good while drive-singing with the music super loud. But I will never make angels weep or flowers bloom or stars drop from the sky just to be nearer.  I think the best I can safely claim is that I won't kill rats or break glass.  But I'm okay with that, because I truly think I value those stellar voices so much more since they're out of my grasp. And I'm thankful that I got to hear some.

Thank you again and again for music and really good singers and for The Voice and the brave people who walk out onto stage and let it go. Thank you for the unifying dimension of music, for the variety. All my love.